1 peter - christian behavior in relationships and duress

(i actually wrote this a long time ago with the intent to edit it and refine it, but it has become clear to me that neither will happen, so i will just post it as is).

today i read 1 peter 3 and it was interesting so i kept on reading through the end of the book (two more chapters). having read those chapters, in particular, chapter 3, i think i have two questions and perhaps one comment.

it is made pretty clear by reading the book, that the recipients of peter's note are undergoing some stressful times. from the text i take that they are enduring some physical and emotional persecution for their beliefs and actions. anyway, given that context, i enjoy the instructions peter has for them regarding their interactions with not only those who are persecuting them, but also their interactions with each other - believers in the same church and families.

he starts off chapter 3 by advising the women of the group to be submissive to their husbands. this instruction is repeated several times throughout the new testament by different authors but what i took away from this particular instance is the difference in the reasoning behind the recommendation. often in the bible, women are told to submit to their husbands as a way of demonstrating order in the family and providing a way of hierarchical decision-making. this reasoning often draws similarities to the body of christ and the church and so on. and same with the men; often in the new testament men are told to respect their wives and to love them. but again, the logic behind this is often related to serve as an example of christ's love for the church, etc., etc. in 1 peter 3, the rationale seems to be for a more asthetic and example-setting reason. women are encouraged to submit to their husbands so that if their husbands are not believers they can be brought to christ through the "others-focused" interest displayed by the wife. i love the descriptions that peter chooses to describe the lifestyle of a woman who is submissive to her husband for the purpose of showing him christ: "purity," "reverence," "inner self," "unfading beauty," "gentle and quiet spirit." i like these descriptions because they go against what we are constantly shown in the world. and i guess this remains in step with what a revolutionary christ was and how non-traditional christianity is. who/what else out there strongly advises people to be pure, reverant, focused on inner self, and possessive of inner beauty and a gentle and quiet spirit?

now my question about the passage on women has to do with the last verse in the section (v. 6). peter closes his admonition (is that the right word?) to the women with, "you are (like sarah, the amazing wife of abraham) if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." i can understand the "do right" part, but i fail to see the connection between all peter's instructions and the "give way to fear" part. what does fear have to do with anything? what are the women fearing and what does that have to do with submission? is there a negative physical consequence to their being submissive to their husbands? i can see submission as an annoyance or too much work or something like that, but i usually don't fear too much work, i just strongly dislike it. i read a bit and it has been speculated that peter was directing this comment to one specific woman that had become a christian and had turned from her previous lifestyle even though her husband had not. having now a fundamentally different way of life than his wife, it is possible that he was persecuting and/or physically abusing her because of their growing differences. in that case, i guess it makes sense that peter was using the ideas of submission and fear in the same sentence.

now for the men. peter encourages men to be considerate to women and treat them with respect as the "weaker partner" and co-heirs of the gracious gift of life. he concludes his advice to them in this way "so that nothing will hinder (their) prayers." i like this because prayers are our way of communicating with god. prayers are the reinforcement and strengthening of a relationship. in other words, peter is asking how can your relationship with god be proper if your relationship with other human beings is not in order?

i have more thoughts on peter's words but i will have to save that for a different post as this one is getting too long.

later.